“…each moment of life is a miracle and mystery.”

“We must not allow the clock and the calendar to blind us to the fact that each moment of life is a miracle and mystery.” – H. G. Wells

Whether life is too busy or too boring, it’s easy to get caught up in constantly trying to achieve ‘the perfect moment’ but therein lies the problem; trying to achieve something that’s already ever present.

Our minds are dominated by this¬†time-space reality and so instead of letting each moment be, the limited ego-mind often tries to define or capture the moment. This can be seen in situations wherein we find ourselves looking back or forward and wishing we were experiencing ‘that moment’ and so completely depreciating the here and now. This can also happen whilst experiencing a moment of bliss and then letting worrisome thoughts such as,¬†“This moment isn’t going to last forever”¬†tarnish what was so pure and beautiful.

Clocks and calendars are great tools for organisation, staying on schedule and for planning fun events. However where’s the line between being organised and being too rigid? If we’re too busy living every day on a schedule or too bored to appreciate the moment, there’s no room in our minds to let life’s magic and mystery in.

There’s also an assumption that only happy moments are worth appreciating or chasing however without the variety of emotions and feelings we have, life would be mundane. There would be no room for growth or nothing to trigger change. Our happy days give us fond memories, and our sad days can be our biggest teachers.

Next time you find yourself stressing over time or yearning for tomorrow,¬†remember¬†that the Universe is limitless and there will always be magical moments to experience. Let go of trying to make ‘the perfect moment’ happen and choose to let today be.

Perfectionism is fear of failure…¬†

Feeling loved and enjoying life comes from being authentic, not perfect. That’s the lesson I’ve learned this Summer.

Having had experienced another failed romance (romantic relationships just don’t seem to fully bloom into commitments for me), ¬†I thought, “OK there’s clearly some inner work I need to do in order to dig deep and find out why I’m repeating the same experiences in my romantic relationships.”

Now I hate to admit that I have any fears or weaknesses but this time I finally faced up to the fact that my biggest fear is rejection. While I’m a confident, independent and happy woman, the belief I held was that rejection equals failure which equals ‘not good enough’.

So in order to prevent rejection, I adopted high standards which were actually perfectionism. Attaining perfection is tiresome as the idea of ‘perfect’ is an illusion, it’s subjective, and forever elusive.

I realised that I was so fixated on being “the perfect girl” in order to avoid rejection because I believed that if I ticked all of the boxes, I could never be rejected. Yet I wasn’t getting the full love and acceptance I desired in romance.

That was because I had been rejecting myself all along without even realising it. The high standards I had placed on myself were conditions; conditions I had to fulfill in order to feel good enough. This included everyday thoughts which would go unnoticed such as, ¬†“I’ll feel 100% good about myself once I’ve had my hair done” or, ¬†“Next week I’ll feel better once I’ve cut out the junk food.” No, the time to feel good and love yourself unconditionally is now.

I now understand how important authenticity and unconditional self approval is. Without them, we will unknowingly seek approval outside of ourselves and latch onto it once someone gives us the acceptance we’ve denied ourselves. This happens without realising as the lack of fulfilment and connectedness is masked with egoic ‘high standards’.

However when we unconditionally love and accept ourselves, other people’s opinions, whether positive or negative, become unnecessary.

Let go of the fear of failure and the need to be perfect. Instead, embrace yourself and be fearless about putting yourself and your happiness first! 

‚ÄúWe are like butterflies who flutter for a day and think it is forever.‚ÄĚ – Carl Sagan

I just came across this quote and it really sparked up something inside of me,

‚ÄúWe are like butterflies who flutter for a day and think it is forever.‚ÄĚ – Carl Sagan

My interpretation of this quote resonates with something I have witnessed happen with my feelings and emotions all of the time. I interpret this quote as saying that when we have those moments of great happiness, immense feelings of love and joy; we feel so elated and on top the world and in result feel indestructible. We assume those positive feelings and highs will never end once we have attained it. However, they do.

The fact that we come down from that place of bliss is natural. However I have now come to understand that that feeling of bliss, is temporary pleasure. It is a feeling mistaken for what we’re really meant to attain which is inner peace,

“Pain is inevitable, Suffering is optional” – Buddhist Proverb

It’s very easy to get into a trap of justifying and putting a label on where you are in life. This could be due to maybe feeling¬†stagnant¬†and without¬†realising,¬†looking¬†outside¬†of yourself to find a reason to feel happy, successful and loved. Another thing that gets brought into this mixture is beating yourself up about feeling bad. You know how to be¬†happy¬†and positive yet here you are feeling low. It’s as if you’ve let yourself down as you are not appreciating¬†everything¬†you have or you’ve somehow not used your abilities to their best potential. Those thoughts only make the situation worse, they are not¬†beneficial¬†and are useless. We have the power to¬†change things and the first step is to focus¬†solely¬†on what you wish to see, feel and accomplish rather than looking back or at your current situation and not feeling good about it.

Online, individuals have suggested that the meaning of the Carl Sagan quote is about time. The universe is timeless and limitless however we are in a time-space reality. Time is all an illusion as we only truly have this NOW moment. Our ego will think about the past and future and we rarely become mindful and bask in the current moment.

“The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the¬†present¬†worse than it is, and the future less¬†resolved¬†than it will be.” – Marcel Pagnol

The ego deviates us from our true state of bliss, freedom and relaxation. It makes us worry, overthink and become ungrateful. I find it hard to accept that I have moments of great appreciation and happiness and yet find myself still having moments of frustration and lack at times therefore we must remember,

“Life isn’t¬†as serious as the¬†mind makes¬†it out to be.” – Ekhart Tolle

Being unemployed¬†for the¬†past few months has resulted in negative thoughts creeping in such as “how will I¬†explain¬†employment¬†gaps?”, “I’ve¬†wasted¬†time”, “There’ll be new graduates graduating this year, what have I done with myself?” I have¬†forgotten¬†my¬†accomplishments and that life is fun and a journey. I have so much going for me and an amazing future ahead of me! Everyone¬†has their own¬†individual¬†path and we are all destined for different things. Such feelings and thoughts of negativity can arise through comparison of yourself with others. It’s also a result of worrying what others think about you. This is your life, you don’t need to¬†justify¬†yourself to anyone and whoever is worth your time will¬†recognise¬†you. I am so blessed to have family and friends who always support me and love me, I must return that love to myself.¬†I have let time discourage me.

We¬†don’t¬†have to have a very¬†busy¬†and active life to be¬†grateful¬†for times of peace and relaxation. Boredom¬†can¬†get the better of us, I know it gets the better of me and so it results in me feeling demotivated and useless. We must know that¬†life¬†happens the way it’s meant to and this time out is just a part of the process. The best thing to do is not¬†label¬†it as anything¬†such¬†as “unemployed” or “trying to figure out my life.” Life happens and is always moving, stay positive and do not let¬†circumstances¬†outside¬†of you rob you of your peace. Nothing lasts forever and¬†everything¬†is temporary including outside situations and inner emotions. This too shall pass.

It’s normal to have good days and bad days, that’s life. The best thing to do is to just work on¬†feeling¬†better.¬†Relax¬†in the thought and knowledge that everything¬†works¬†our perfectly for us,¬†life¬†happens FOR us, we are life! We are always connected¬†to¬†source and we feel bad when we disconnect¬†ourselves¬†through¬†letting¬†our ego get the better of us. We are humans and we will experience a variety¬†in emotions and¬†feelings, we are learning and expanding. We need to let ourselves of the hook. To finish off, I will quote something that I said to a close friend of mine last night,

“We are human and we’re not perfect but we’re also more powerful than we think.”

Never¬†dis-empower¬†or belittle yourself with feelings of “failure.” Know you are important and expect success.

“You can’t get it wrong and you never get it done” – Abraham Hicks

Happy New Year

It’s the last day of 2012 and when I look back at this year and how much has happened;¬†I feel immense liberation. This time last year I was in a relationship¬†however¬†I could tell it was coming to an end. I was in my final year of¬†university¬†and truthfully, I felt¬†dissatisfied¬†with life. I was depressed and would have to convince myself that I was happy¬†however¬†my mind and heart were contradicting¬†eachother. I was¬†definitely¬†out of alignment.

A lot of soul searching has occurred this year. The tipping point for me where the quality of my life really improved was in July this year. I finally felt that all of the pain and bitterness towards the split from my ex was gone. I loved myself and began genuinely enjoying life. Thereafter things just got better and better. I became a redhead in May which was actually accidental but nothing is ever really an accident is it ;). My red hair has become my identity and I love it! Everyone compliments it and tells me it’s my colour and I really can’t imagine myself going back to black or brown any time soon.

I graduated on 21st July with my university degree in Media which I had a great time studying. It was the end of an amazing chapter in my life and I was ready to move onto the next one. I was enjoying being back at home and around my family more, I was getting to spend time with my friends from back home and loved meeting up with university friends. I started listening to the teachings of Abraham Hicks frequently and began to truly embrace and bask in every moment of happiness and so felt continuous appreciation for life. Great people and experiences were coming to me all the time and since the bigger picture of life has remained my focal point, I feel detachment. I see that life is just one big lesson whereby we continue to grow and evolve, if we let ourselves. Holding onto pain is just a huge and unnecessary delay in attaining happiness as well as the biggest thief of our true power. Everything we do and think is a habit and I’ve made happiness mine. Negative feelings and thoughts have been quieted,

“Feed your faith and your fears will starve¬†to death”

I can honestly say I feel in top of the world and so strong right now. The final six months of this¬†year, especially¬†this past month have been so fun and fulfilling. I am so in love with life and myself. If you love life, it will love you back. I have learned so much about how important it is to focus on your desires and to enjoy life. I have a continuous feeling of¬†contentment with life as well as¬†excitement ūüėÄ .

‚ÄúBe content with what you have;¬†rejoice in the way things are.¬†When you realize there is nothing lacking,¬†the whole world belongs to you.‚Ä̬†– Lao Tzu

I am very excited to see what 2013 will bring me as I’m filled with tremendous hope and know that the universe gives me everything I want in abundance.

“Feelings of love, joy, passion, exhilaration, fun, interest….. are indications of your vibrational match to Well-being.”¬†– Abraham-Hicks

Attachments are a hindrance

I have a book called Angel Messages¬† by Juan Nakamori which I have had¬†for¬†years¬†and¬†love¬†to look into for little messages of guidance and¬†positivity.¬†My cousin gave it¬†to¬†me at a time where I was very depressed and¬†whenever¬†I’ve found myself feeling lost or upset, I will randomly open a¬†page¬†or¬†think¬†of a number and take in the¬†message¬†I see. Today the message I was¬†given read:

“As you free¬†yourself¬†from attachment, you will gain¬†spontaneity. As you¬†remove¬†restrictions, you will gain freedom.” – Page 34

This message resonates with me very well. I believe that attachments to people and things hold you back and as you become so conformable with what you have, you lose the spontaneity to do exciting things and progress in life.

I believe that¬†the¬†perfect¬†mate is someone who you can be¬†spontaneous¬†with and someone that you are so¬†close¬†to where you feel¬†like¬†yourself at all times.¬†You can do¬†whatever¬†you want in life and achieve your ambitions without the fear of that person leaving¬†you or hindering you in any way. Many relationships¬†are restrictive¬†without¬†us¬†realising.¬†Sometimes we¬†resist¬†our true selves¬†out of fear, fear that our actions will upset others. However we need to remember that our lives belong to ourself. The people we¬†cherish¬†will stick with us¬†though¬†whatever we wish to pursue. People who try to knock you down or hold you back are insecure and not people¬†you¬†want to surround¬†yourself¬†with. I’ve¬†found that I’m at my happiest, most free and spontaneous when single and focused on loving my friends and family. The men that have come into my life have been good to me however it’s very easy to fall into the trap of compromising yourself for them which results in holding yourself back without¬†realising. I¬†have¬†seen this with my friends and other girls.¬†I’ve always¬†been aware that¬†I¬†need a man as¬†adventurous¬†and as free as myself who I can have an¬†amazing¬†relationship with. You can definitely maintain your independence and pursue the life you dream of with the right person, however my main point is that it is very easy to become attached, reliant and comfortable¬†in a relationship which can result in loss of ambition.

Focus on yourself and trust that the right people will enter and stay in your life. Allow yourself to enjoy life and stop letting your attachments and restrictions hold you back from being your truest, most authentic self.

Let life happen

Stay detached and watch life unfold before you. When you are aware of your greatness and focus on all the amazing things before you, nothing can bring you down. Surrender to the universe and watch everything fall perfectly into place. Trust everything happens for our best interest because it does. Let go and let life take you to amazing places and bring amazing opportunities and people into your life. Surprises are always around the corner, never let fear or doubt stop you from being happy or hopeful.

Trying to control things bring doubt and fear and just stress you out. If anything, it blinds you from the bliss surrounding you and inhibits your abundance. Imagination is innocent and infinite, the ego is restricted and trained to think thoughts based on what man (who is not perfect) deems acceptable.

I’m letting the universe do it’s thing and man am I loving life and watching everything unfold beautifully and¬†perfectly.¬†I¬†know everything works out for the best.

It’s OK to not care

When something happens that culture and society tells you you should be upset about (e.g. a breakup). Pain and sorrow are great teachers however¬†they¬†do not always need to be felt. Loss is¬†perceived,¬†we never¬†really¬†lose anything or anyone since we are here by ourselves and for ourselves. Being happy is our natural state and if you’re not phased by something, don’t let your mind tell you you should be. Ego is the enemy¬†which¬†wants to bring you down. Stay blissful and bask in the greatness of everything around you. Life is a gift to be enjoyed and everything in life is temporary.