Happy New Year

It’s the last day of 2012 and when I look back at this year and how much has happened; I feel immense liberation. This time last year I was in a relationship however I could tell it was coming to an end. I was in my final year of university and truthfully, I felt dissatisfied with life. I was depressed and would have to convince myself that I was happy however my mind and heart were contradicting eachother. I was definitely out of alignment.

A lot of soul searching has occurred this year. The tipping point for me where the quality of my life really improved was in July this year. I finally felt that all of the pain and bitterness towards the split from my ex was gone. I loved myself and began genuinely enjoying life. Thereafter things just got better and better. I became a redhead in May which was actually accidental but nothing is ever really an accident is it ;). My red hair has become my identity and I love it! Everyone compliments it and tells me it’s my colour and I really can’t imagine myself going back to black or brown any time soon.

I graduated on 21st July with my university degree in Media which I had a great time studying. It was the end of an amazing chapter in my life and I was ready to move onto the next one. I was enjoying being back at home and around my family more, I was getting to spend time with my friends from back home and loved meeting up with university friends. I started listening to the teachings of Abraham Hicks frequently and began to truly embrace and bask in every moment of happiness and so felt continuous appreciation for life. Great people and experiences were coming to me all the time and since the bigger picture of life has remained my focal point, I feel detachment. I see that life is just one big lesson whereby we continue to grow and evolve, if we let ourselves. Holding onto pain is just a huge and unnecessary delay in attaining happiness as well as the biggest thief of our true power. Everything we do and think is a habit and I’ve made happiness mine. Negative feelings and thoughts have been quieted,

“Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death”

I can honestly say I feel in top of the world and so strong right now. The final six months of this year, especially this past month have been so fun and fulfilling. I am so in love with life and myself. If you love life, it will love you back. I have learned so much about how important it is to focus on your desires and to enjoy life. I have a continuous feeling of contentment with life as well as excitement 😀 .

“Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” – Lao Tzu

I am very excited to see what 2013 will bring me as I’m filled with tremendous hope and know that the universe gives me everything I want in abundance.

“Feelings of love, joy, passion, exhilaration, fun, interest….. are indications of your vibrational match to Well-being.” – Abraham-Hicks

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“A man is born alone and dies alone” – Chanakya

Today I was feeling quite down and reached out to one of my best friends telling her how sad and lonely I felt. She reminded me that we all have our days when we don’t feel strong. It seems that we beat ourselves up for feeling bad when we catch ourselves having negative thoughts, however such moments are inevitable and you’ve just got to persevere. I was feeling anger towards the man I talked about in Heartbreak and Self Worth – Part 2 as yesterday everything seemed to hit me like a ton of bricks. My beautiful older sister was there to help me out and said she realised I wasn’t actually upset enough when I had initially told her what had happened with him. She held me whilst I cried and talked it out with me.

Sometimes you just need to let others look after you and help you. That’s why we have friends and family. They are the reminders and reflections of who we really are when we lose ourselves through clouded thoughts due to circumstances and overwhelming, incomprehensible emotions. Another thing that my friend reminded me of this morning which put everything into perspective for me again was that ultimately we are our own person.

“A man is born alone and dies alone” – Chanakya

I ask myself this whenever I feel down and depressed; “When I die and look back on my life, do I want to see that I spent most of my time a victim to other people and circumstances outside of myself or do I want to see that I seized as much happiness as I could and lived in gratitude most of the time?”

Bad days are inevitable and there’s going to be times where we’re just get fed up of everything and lose morale. I got so angry last night that I shouted, “I aligned with what I wanted, I got it and now its been thrown back in my face. What are you meant to do when that happens?!” Sometimes you just have to let it all out and let the answers unfold. I guess concealing our feelings is another form of attempting to have control over life when we’ve just got to accept that we are humans and we are not perfect. Here’s a tweet I saw earlier which I’ll leave you with;

@TheGodLight: What you fight against controls you, to overcome a problem you must not fight, but lead the problem to its resolution