“…each moment of life is a miracle and mystery.”

“We must not allow the clock and the calendar to blind us to the fact that each moment of life is a miracle and mystery.” – H. G. Wells

Whether life is too busy or too boring, it’s easy to get caught up in constantly trying to achieve ‘the perfect moment’ but therein lies the problem; trying to achieve something that’s already ever present.

Our minds are dominated by this time-space reality and so instead of letting each moment be, the limited ego-mind often tries to define or capture the moment. This can be seen in situations wherein we find ourselves looking back or forward and wishing we were experiencing ‘that moment’ and so completely depreciating the here and now. This can also happen whilst experiencing a moment of bliss and then letting worrisome thoughts such as, “This moment isn’t going to last forever” tarnish what was so pure and beautiful.

Clocks and calendars are great tools for organisation, staying on schedule and for planning fun events. However where’s the line between being organised and being too rigid? If we’re too busy living every day on a schedule or too bored to appreciate the moment, there’s no room in our minds to let life’s magic and mystery in.

There’s also an assumption that only happy moments are worth appreciating or chasing however without the variety of emotions and feelings we have, life would be mundane. There would be no room for growth or nothing to trigger change. Our happy days give us fond memories, and our sad days can be our biggest teachers.

Next time you find yourself stressing over time or yearning for tomorrow, remember that the Universe is limitless and there will always be magical moments to experience. Let go of trying to make ‘the perfect moment’ happen and choose to let today be.

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Image credit:
Fabrizio Verrecchia

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Perfectionism is fear of failure… 

Feeling loved and enjoying life comes from being authentic, not perfect. That’s the lesson I’ve learned this Summer.

Having had experienced another failed romance (romantic relationships just don’t seem to fully bloom into commitments for me),  I thought, “OK there’s clearly some inner work I need to do in order to dig deep and find out why I’m repeating the same experiences in my romantic relationships.”

Now I hate to admit that I have any fears or weaknesses but this time I finally faced up to the fact that my biggest fear is rejection. While I’m a confident, independent and happy woman, the belief I held was that rejection equals failure which equals ‘not good enough’.

So in order to prevent rejection, I adopted high standards which were actually perfectionism. Attaining perfection is tiresome as the idea of ‘perfect’ is an illusion, it’s subjective, and forever elusive.

I realised that I was so fixated on being “the perfect girl” in order to avoid rejection because I believed that if I ticked all of the boxes, I could never be rejected. Yet I wasn’t getting the full love and acceptance I desired in romance.

That was because I had been rejecting myself all along without even realising it. The high standards I had placed on myself were conditions; conditions I had to fulfill in order to feel good enough. This included everyday thoughts which would go unnoticed such as,  “I’ll feel 100% good about myself once I’ve had my hair done” or,  “Next week I’ll feel better once I’ve cut out the junk food.” No, the time to feel good and love yourself unconditionally is now.

I now understand how important authenticity and unconditional self approval is. Without them, we will unknowingly seek approval outside of ourselves and latch onto it once someone gives us the acceptance we’ve denied ourselves. This happens without realising as the lack of fulfilment and connectedness is masked with egoic ‘high standards’.

However when we unconditionally love and accept ourselves, other people’s opinions, whether positive or negative, become unnecessary.

Let go of the fear of failure and the need to be perfect. Instead, embrace yourself and be fearless about putting yourself and your happiness first! 

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Noting your blessings

Life always has and always will provide us with blessings and everything we want however it’s easy to get caught up in the ego’s insatiable desire for ‘more.’

Gratitude soothes feelings of discomfort and inadequacy which often arise when thinking about what the next thing to accomplish or acquire is. There’s nothing wrong with being ambitious however our present blessings can often be overlooked in our pursuits.

Remind yourself that there was a time you were praying for everything that you now have. Take a moment to feel the appreciation of where you are now, all that you have achieved and are yet to achieve.

Image source: http://pin.it/nV2N6g3

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Denying The Present Moment

Our minds love to wander, imagine the future and ponder the many different possibilities of life, which can sometimes be ‘anywhere but here.’

While there are great moments in life where we’re fully present, there are also moments where dissatisfaction can creep in without us realising. However instead of facing the uncomfortable feeling, we do everything to avoid it.

We fill our schedules up ‘to be busy’, plan a holiday ‘to get away.’ Being busy and going on holiday are fantastic activities however there’s a difference between doing them from a place of genuine excitement and using them as a way of escaping life.

“Every place you don’t want to be at feels like a prison. And we have so many desires, expectations and go back to the past and think about the future so often, that I can safely say that we live in such a prison all the time.

“So each time you wish you were somewhere else right now is another solid wall you build and thus make this imaginary building even stronger.” – Lidiya K.; This Moment

Thinking about the future needn’t bring up feelings of anxiety and impatience – this usually happens when one compares their current situation with their future by highlighting what’s ‘missing’ from the Now. Such thoughts are filled with doubt and fear,

“How am I going to get there?”

“What if I don’t make it?”

“I’m too far away from that vision.”

The thing to remember is that we’re always at the right place, at the right time. We are where we’re supposed to be and everything unfolds perfectly. As hard as that can be to accept at times, it’s really not that bad.

Look back on your life to moments where you’ve felt dissatisfied or distant from your dreams and think about where you are now. What have you accomplished since then? How much have you grown as a person? What has worked out which you couldn’t see working out at the time?  In those difficult moments, you probably thought, “Oh my, how am I going to get from here to there?” Life is a journey and the path isn’t always clear-cut. Most of the time the route unfolds along the way and in ways we couldn’t have imagined ourselves.

“Realise deeply that the present moment is all you have. Make the NOW the primary focus of your life.” — Eckhart Tolle

Instead of trying to deny the present moment, feel it and observe the thoughts and feelings which come. Remember that’s all they are; thoughts. Life is calling to teach you something and the choice of embracing it with Love or running away with Fear is up to you.

“It is through gratitude for the present moment that the spiritual dimension of life opens up.” – Eckhart Tolle

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Image credit:
Lesly B. Juarez

Relinquish the need to control

“You can’t control everything and you don’t have to. When you allow things to happen naturally, they happen better.” – Rob Hill Sr

Our minds and imagination can be limited sometimes. When we open up to the endless possibility and let things happen, they come to us even better than we could’ve conjured ourselves. Things have a way of working out for the best when you trust the higher power and stop doubting everything. Enjoy life and bask in the knowing that all is well. We can’t control everything even if we tried; we don’t control the wind, our heartbeat or the sunrise. Therefore trying to control a situation or others just creates stress and resistance unnecessarily. There’s no need to worry as the infinite universe has it covered and takes care of everything; our vision is finite. The only thing we need to control is our outlook and attitude on life to be positive and loving.

Fear less, trust more.

Let go let God.

Stay true to yourself

Stay true to yourself

Relationships should never be difficult or consist of justifying yourself. There has to be room for freedom and to unapologetically be yourself. Anything else is conditional love and will never be truly satisfying. If someone can’t accept or handle you fully, love yourself enough to know that you sure as hell don’t need them or their approval. Trying to make something work is a waste of time, everything is supposed to flow easily.