Relinquish the need to control

“You can’t control everything and you don’t have to. When you allow things to happen naturally, they happen better.” – Rob Hill Sr

Our minds and imagination can be limited sometimes. When we open up to the endless possibility and let things happen, they come to us even better than we could’ve conjured ourselves. Things have a way of working out for the best when you trust the higher power and stop doubting everything. Enjoy life and bask in the knowing that all is well. We can’t control everything even if we tried; we don’t control the wind, our heartbeat or the sunrise. Therefore trying to control a situation or others just creates stress and resistance unnecessarily. There’s no need to worry as the infinite universe has it covered and takes care of everything; our vision is finite. The only thing we need to control is our outlook and attitude on life to be positive and loving.

Fear less, trust more.

Let go let God.

Stay true to yourself

Stay true to yourself

Relationships should never be difficult or consist of justifying yourself. There has to be room for freedom and to unapologetically be yourself. Anything else is conditional love and will never be truly satisfying. If someone can’t accept or handle you fully, love yourself enough to know that you sure as hell don’t need them or their approval. Trying to make something work is a waste of time, everything is supposed to flow easily.

Unconditional Love and Compassion

“Love is a constant, consistent flow of life. It is the vehicle of Prana. It is divine radiance. It is, ever was and ever shall be.
Love is forever in time and space. All you can do is give love a chance.
Love is between you and you. It is the experience of oneself in oneself. Your soul mate is your own soul.
There is a conflict of head and heart, when the head learns to bow to the heart; you have started to become Human.
Love is the ultimate state of Human behaviour where compassion prevails and kindness rules.” – Yogi Bhajan

The illusion of time in relation to joy

“Try to imagine a life without timekeeping. You probably can’t. You know the month, the year, the day of the week. There is a clock on your wall or the dashboard of your car. You have a schedule, a calendar, a time for dinner or a movie. Yet all around you, timekeeping is ignored. Birds are not late. A dog does not check its watch. Deer do not fret over passing birthdays. an alone measures time. Man alone chimes the hour. And, because of this, man alone suffers a paralyzing fear that no other creature endures. A fear of time running out.” – Mitch Albom; The Time Keeper.

I have been thinking about the concept of time the past few days. Time is man-made however this physical reality we live in is linear. I remember watching a show a few years ago on near death experiences and I heard one man say of his experience that in the afterlife, there is no concept of time whatsoever. This blew my mind. Imagine living in a world where there’s no such thing as time. No past, present or future. No need to keep track of the minutes, hours or dates. Just being where you are. Ekhart Tolle has a whole book on being in the present moment, The Power of Now. However, remaining focused solely on the present moment and preventing the mind from wandering is difficult since we’re conditioned to live our lives around time. It’s not impossible though as there are moments in which we naturally focus on the present. Such moments can be found whilst doing creative work, savouring time spent with friends, family, your lover. Days spent at the theme park or extreme activities such as mountain climbing or sky diving also naturally encourage relishing in the present moment. These events take us away and we forget the need to be on our phone or checking the time to ensure that we are on track or waiting for the next moment before it’s arrived. As a result, the beauty of life is appreciated and joy is felt.

When time is forgotten, life is so fun and stress free. Obviously everybody has responsibilities and so cannot really eliminate time from their life. However I look back on my life last summer with a strong feeling of freedom associated to it. I had graduated university and was having a whale of a time. I actually felt as though I had all the time in the world and life had just begun. The world was my oyster and I was spending my free days being unemployed gaining work experience or meeting friends. As time went on (the irony) I began to feel that I needed to begin proving myself or before I knew it, I’d be looking back at myself in disappointment. Disappointment that I had let time slip away and wasn’t attaining what I desired such as pursuing my dreams and a career. Those thoughts were fear based and false since fear is an illusion. Whilst I was enjoying myself, the opportunities were coming to me anyway and I was focused on the freedom before me.

Earlier this year I felt stagnant. I felt as if time was running out and I was just watching the days pass. Nothing seemed to be going my way and I was not having as much carefree fun as I had in the summer. The days became boring and I felt that my time was worthless. During the first half of this year, I had chosen to see my time as wasted when really everything works out how it’s supposed to. I was too focused on everything I was lacking which happens easily when the mind has too much time to wander and isn’t tamed. The abundance I felt last summer had gone as I felt a lack of it in time and opportunities. Thankfully I am enjoying myself again and see structure and value to my days. I am seeing and embracing opportunities and no longer feel stagnant or lack.

“Time is an illusion.” – Albert Einstein

The illusion of time and not having enough reduces joy. It increases stress and the feeling of life slipping away. Where do such feelings and thoughts come from? Our ego. The mind craves control and the ego is fear based. Choose freedom. There is a feeling of freedom found in detaching from the notion of time as life begins to be viewed with an open mind. With freedom in your heart and an open mind, joy is felt a lot easier in each moment.

“Time isn’t precious at all, because it is an illusion. What you perceive as precious is not time but the one point that is out of time: the Now. That is precious indeed. The more you are focused on time—past and future—the more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is.” – Ekhart Tolle; The Power of Now

Time is precious as we each have the power to bring value to it through meaningful moments and events. Therefore the concept of time is best utilised to our advantage by making it enjoyable rather than letting it be a disadvantage through lack of presence.

Taking responsibility of your emotions is powerful

It demonstrates unconditional self love and forgiveness. You are allowed to feel sad, unhappy and tired. Instead of worrying about not looking or being attractive to others because of those negative emotions, choose to give yourself attention and listen to them. Tend to them. This act of taking responsibility demonstrates power as you take charge of yourself and give yourself room to be human. Nothing lasts forever and our emotions are seasonal too. Moments of happiness and sadness are natural and essential, we really cannot appreciate one without the other.

“You don’t ever have to feel guilty about sharing your feelings. It isn’t desperate or pathetic or weak. It’s self-care and there is nothing shameful about taking care of yourself by unloading some of the pain you carry. Your feelings are important and they matter — you matter — and if you’re hurting, you’re allowed to reach out. You’re allowed to be honest and use your voice. You’re allowed to take up space and talk about what you’re feeling. You deserve to make self-care a priority. Always.”
– Daniell Koepke

We have been taught to demonstrate a cold exterior and display as little emotion as possible since showing vulnerability means we are weak. That is not true, the longer we hold feelings in and the harder we try to conceal them, they gain more power and momentum. The effort put into resisting them enlarges them. Denial is as bad as self negligence and an act of weakness since the issue is avoided rather than faced and dealt with. If we chose to accept ourselves and weren’t always trying so hard to be strong, the inner turmoil of concealing everything would eventually dissipate better. Ignorance is bliss if you’re changing your point of focus and actually feel better doing so. If the change in focus is to escape, the problem will still creep in as fear remains a part of the motive. Often, we need to admit the problem to ourselves and trust that we can open up to those closest to us. There is no shame in having tender moments, if someone cannot respect you opening up, that is their problem. Vulnerability is not a weakness if you own it. Opening up does not always mean you’ll get hurt if you are doing so from a place of compassion and hope rather than seeking acceptance.

Learning to balance the logic of the mind and the love of the heart is important. All is well accepting and expressing emotion but one mustn’t stay trapped in reliving the same story again and again. Self pitying can become a habit and an easy one to get into. Feel and experience the emotions so that you allow yourself to move past them.

“The highest form of human intelligence is to observe yourself without judgment.” – J. Krishnamurti