It demonstrates unconditional self love and forgiveness. You are allowed to feel sad, unhappy and tired. Instead of worrying about not looking or being attractive to others because of those negative emotions, choose to give yourself attention and listen to them. Tend to them. This act of taking responsibility demonstrates power as you take charge of yourself and give yourself room to be human. Nothing lasts forever and our emotions are seasonal too. Moments of happiness and sadness are natural and essential, we really cannot appreciate one without the other.
“You don’t ever have to feel guilty about sharing your feelings. It isn’t desperate or pathetic or weak. It’s self-care and there is nothing shameful about taking care of yourself by unloading some of the pain you carry. Your feelings are important and they matter — you matter — and if you’re hurting, you’re allowed to reach out. You’re allowed to be honest and use your voice. You’re allowed to take up space and talk about what you’re feeling. You deserve to make self-care a priority. Always.”
– Daniell Koepke
We have been taught to demonstrate a cold exterior and display as little emotion as possible since showing vulnerability means we are weak. That is not true, the longer we hold feelings in and the harder we try to conceal them, they gain more power and momentum. The effort put into resisting them enlarges them. Denial is as bad as self negligence and an act of weakness since the issue is avoided rather than faced and dealt with. If we chose to accept ourselves and weren’t always trying so hard to be strong, the inner turmoil of concealing everything would eventually dissipate better. Ignorance is bliss if you’re changing your point of focus and actually feel better doing so. If the change in focus is to escape, the problem will still creep in as fear remains a part of the motive. Often, we need to admit the problem to ourselves and trust that we can open up to those closest to us. There is no shame in having tender moments, if someone cannot respect you opening up, that is their problem. Vulnerability is not a weakness if you own it. Opening up does not always mean you’ll get hurt if you are doing so from a place of compassion and hope rather than seeking acceptance.
Learning to balance the logic of the mind and the love of the heart is important. All is well accepting and expressing emotion but one mustn’t stay trapped in reliving the same story again and again. Self pitying can become a habit and an easy one to get into. Feel and experience the emotions so that you allow yourself to move past them.
“The highest form of human intelligence is to observe yourself without judgment.” – J. Krishnamurti