Let life happen

Stay detached and watch life unfold before you. When you are aware of your greatness and focus on all the amazing things before you, nothing can bring you down. Surrender to the universe and watch everything fall perfectly into place. Trust everything happens for our best interest because it does. Let go and let life take you to amazing places and bring amazing opportunities and people into your life. Surprises are always around the corner, never let fear or doubt stop you from being happy or hopeful.

Trying to control things bring doubt and fear and just stress you out. If anything, it blinds you from the bliss surrounding you and inhibits your abundance. Imagination is innocent and infinite, the ego is restricted and trained to think thoughts based on what man (who is not perfect) deems acceptable.

I’m letting the universe do it’s thing and man am I loving life and watching everything unfold beautifully and¬†perfectly.¬†I¬†know everything works out for the best.

It’s OK to not care

When something happens that culture and society tells you you should be upset about (e.g. a breakup). Pain and sorrow are great teachers however¬†they¬†do not always need to be felt. Loss is¬†perceived,¬†we never¬†really¬†lose anything or anyone since we are here by ourselves and for ourselves. Being happy is our natural state and if you’re not phased by something, don’t let your mind tell you you should be. Ego is the enemy¬†which¬†wants to bring you down. Stay blissful and bask in the greatness of everything around you. Life is a gift to be enjoyed and everything in life is temporary.

Heartbreak and Self Worth – Part 2

In July, I bumped into an old friend from¬†university¬†on graduation¬†whom¬†had liked me since first¬†year. I was aware of this at¬†that¬†time¬†however¬†I¬†was never ready to take it past¬†friendship. I felt this immediate and strong attraction to him after that day and¬†there’s¬†always¬†been chemistry¬†between¬†us and so we started talking again. He was amazing, everything I wanted after my ex. He treated me¬†well,¬†always told me I was¬†perfect¬†and beautiful, he would tell me how much he wanted to spoil me,¬†I¬†felt myself¬†around¬†him¬†and¬†so comfortable. It helped that we were friends before anything since I felt every feeling we expressed wasn’t just based on infatuation. Good things really do go for better to come along.¬†However¬†I¬†was still seeing other people since¬†I¬†did not want a relationship and I told him¬†I¬†wasn’t¬†after a¬†relationship¬†to clear any¬†misunderstandings. He had just got out of a relationship. We were both so loving towards¬†eachother,¬†we said we hadn’t felt so¬†comfortable and¬†close to someone¬†before. He told me that¬†I¬†made him very happy and feel great about himself since his ex’s were quite selfish. The only issue was that he¬†lived¬†far away so we’d only see eachother once a¬†month but¬†whenever¬†we were together it¬†was¬†the best. I felt so close to him in every way,¬†I¬†felt bliss. we felt great appreciation for eachother and¬†I¬†was¬†loving¬†it.

Things got deeper and we started to like eachother more¬†however¬†we’d say that as a relationship it would be hard since not seeing eachother all the¬†time¬†would eventually take its toll on us. I was enjoying¬†going with the flow and just relishing in all the positive aspects. I lost the desire to talk to other guys however¬†I¬†also felt that by¬†forcing¬†commitment¬†it would¬†make¬†the love between us conditional and¬†I¬†didn’t’ want us to hurt eachother since a lot of expectations come from¬†commitment.¬†4 months later and things have changed within a week.

He has chosen to¬†pursue¬†and be with a friend of his from where he lives since he so¬†desperately¬†wants a¬†girlfriend. He had mentioned earlier this week that he¬†couldn’t¬†handle the distance¬†between¬†us and wanted to see¬†other¬†people. At first¬†I¬†wasn’t¬†bothered¬†because we never said we can’t date others¬†however my ego came into play¬†I started thinking dark¬†thoughts. It felt liken the heartbreak from the previous break up was all coming back to me.¬†¬†I¬†could feel he was slipping away from me during the week and¬†that¬†I¬†may not be seeing him again in the romantic way and it hurt me.¬†I¬†started thinking fear based¬†thoughts¬†such as “he doesn’t want me anymore” , “he’s going to find someone and¬†I’m¬†not going to¬†be¬†with him again”, “I¬†don’t¬†want anyone else”, “how could he say all those things to me and now do this?”, “men are so fickle” etc.

I then reminded myself that when I finally found happiness after the split from my ex it was because I surrendered to the universe, accepted what was, focused on myself and embraced faith. I was full of life and love and this guy was the one that wanted to pursue me and liked me loads originally, I just went with the flow.

When he told me this morning that the girl had asked him out, I kept my replies graceful with a hint of bitchiness. He needs to know I’m fully aware of my¬†self¬†worth¬†and not upset (which I’m not) and boy am¬†I¬†grateful that¬†I¬†have¬†dealt¬†with this¬†disappointment¬†so well. I feel great and strong,¬†I¬†do not feel as if¬†I’ve¬†lost anything and¬†I¬†am more driven to do well for myself since I’ve seen how well things flow into place and how¬†ever-changing¬†life is. If we find ourselves back in eachother’s arms, we’ll see, since¬†I¬†know¬†he’s¬†always liked me loads and always will. This relationship he is in may work well or it may not. Things are¬†always¬†perfect at first¬†however¬†he’s pursued a relationship for the sake of having a girlfriend since he’s¬†bored¬†of being single. He wants to fill a¬†void¬†and has¬†given¬†up the¬†amazing¬†love we have/had out of desperation.

I control how¬†I¬†feel and¬†I¬†can’t help that he feels the way he does, however¬†I¬†feel great¬†because¬†life goes on and¬†I¬†am too blessed to be getting¬†upset. Never let the other¬†person’s¬†faults make you think you are lacking something. You are special,¬†beautiful¬†and amazing and it’s not your¬†fault¬†that other people can’t see or¬†value¬†that. We are all human and we all make¬†mistakes¬† As long as you have your own back and¬†stay¬†true to¬†yourself,¬†nothing¬†or no-one will¬†phase¬†you.

There is no room for self pity or sadness here. Only positivity and strength.

Heartbreak and Self Worth – Part 1

When me and my first love split up in January 2012 after 9 months of being together, I told myself positive things such as “everything¬†happens for a reason”, “good things go for better to come along” however I felt as if my heart had been ripped out of my chest and there a huge missing piece (clich√© I know). When we first fall in love, we make mistakes and become slaves to our¬†emotions¬†and feelings. I was so confused when I was falling for him since I didn’t¬†understand¬†all the feelings when I first fell for him¬†and¬†so I got very attached. However I became attached¬†because¬†HE was¬†attached¬†to me and would tell me he loved me and would never hurt me. I though I was safe, Never rely on someone’s words.¬†Attachment brings¬†pain.¬† A lot of the things happen without us realising no matter how strong we are as single women. The romance in the air takes over and feels like ecstasy. A few months into the relationship I felt as if I had stopped loving¬†myself¬†and¬†started¬†relying¬†on him for love which is the biggest mistake anyone can make: looking¬†outside¬†of one-self for love. When we split up, I felt as if I had¬†forgotten¬†how to be single and live for myself¬†because¬†everything had become¬†about him even though I thought I had still prioritised myself. It is very easy to become too¬†comfortable¬†in a¬†relationship¬†and lose sight of your life and how far you want to go. It’s as if the relationship becomes an obstacle since you have someone other than yourself to think about and insecurities come into play such as “what if we grow apart”, “what if he looks elsewhere for comfort”. The attachment was like a drug¬†because¬†whenever¬†we were apart it killed and¬†I¬†needed him. Relationships can be blissful however it must be from a place of¬†unwavering¬†happiness within yourself.

The pain of heartbreak was horrible, sometimes¬†I¬†felt great and then all of a sudden the pain and insecure, negative thoughts would come back to me. I had lost myself, I felt like¬†I¬†was crawling myself back into the light of positivity and unconditional self love. I am known for my confidence,¬†positive¬†attitude and¬†strength¬†as I’m always¬†helping¬†my girls feel good about themselves yet¬†I¬†was crying my eyes out everyday¬†saying¬†that no-one will ever love me. This was not me.

Sometimes you have to¬†accept¬†you’re hurt and let out all the anger and pain. I was trying to tame it and hope it faded away. When I finally accepted I was angry and hurt, the pain and¬†unresolved¬†bitterness started to¬†dissipate. I gradually¬†found¬†myself¬†again and felt stronger, wiser and better. I felt single and happy,¬†I¬†didn’t need a man and¬†didn’t¬†feel¬†I¬†had to¬†rush¬†into a relationship. I was so happy and in love with myself, I was shining. So many men were being attracted to me however I stayed focused on myself.¬†I¬†established what I wanted in my next perfect lover¬†however¬†I¬†also¬†know that mistakes are made to be¬†learned¬†from and to grow. Nobody is¬†perfect¬†and life is always giving us lessons to better ourselves.¬†I¬†don’t¬†need to be with someone to feel good and¬†I’m young and have a lot to explore yet before finding the one. Once I had got all of my confidence back, I felt fulfilled and more aware of the bigger picture.¬†I¬†told myself to always¬†prioritise¬†myself no matter what so that next time I go¬†through¬†a breakup, I will not feel so lost since relationships are to be learned from and we are always a work in progress. There are plenty more fish in the sea! Don’t limit yourself through fear, let the best things come to you with faith.